For those of you so tired of swine overkill that you avoided the news and NRIs who've managed to escape the mind-numbing onslaught of 24-hour Indian news media... here is my public service to desi news-deprived desis everywhere.
The highlights...
- Iron hand of the virus: H1N1 has Indian mobs listening to the government and taking precautionary (read common sense) hygenic measures making the virus more effective than most politicians and legislative measures in the last six decades. Now to get that virus to put an end to littering, public urination and eveteasing.
- Oh Pune, why all this effort to make Bihar look good: The death toll goes down by 3 on August 14th not because of an effective clamp down but because of a "local mistake" where three Pune non-H1N1 deaths were added to the tally before swab results were confirmed. This was because the district collector Dalvi told the Center who told the people keeping tabs...that this is the house that Jack Built. Yup it made about that much sense. Pune as ground zero is also supposed to have happened through a perfect storm of bureaucratic incompetence and apparently - really good weather!
- Masked pot of gold: Gottalove economics. Masks are in short supply even as the price zooms from Rs. 5 to Rs 150...sort of like how Bush grew the deficit. Making Dick Cheney look like Mother Teresa is Delhi fashion designer Akansha Reshu who spins designer masks at Rs. 500 a pop.
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Masks aala re: Janmashtami celebrations go on as schools are closed and Indians for the first time in their lives officially avoid crowds. Check out this group of kids wearing surgical masks as they watch the human pyramid.
- Saving the best for last!:Kamathipura shows signs of empowered Independence as sex workers refuse to kiss "leep to leep" and even "service" some clients with H1N1 hovering like a dementor. Definitely give the awesomely titled "Kiss miss for sex workers" a read for the Idiot's Guide on dupatta sex.
This just in...
Divine intervention? Surgical masks or just plain masks are now the norm. An anonymous expert indicated that the H1N1 pandemic is in fact an act of biological warfare by a group of fundamentalist Jains in order to gain media "share of voice" - a scene continually dominated by the Big 3 religions. The leader of the group -"Root Cause" issued this statement "We wouldnt hurt a fly even if it kills us. And the masks certainly achieve that."
Thanks for reading this week's edition of Utter Desiness. So much to write, so little time!
5 Responses to 'Lipstick on a pig...Swine flu edition'
Comment by Unknown.
Purnima, you always write so well, you often remind me of one of my Tam Bram professor at Xavier’s Ahmedabad, who had a similar style of writing . You feel and breathe politics, girl.
A short response to your swine flu edition: Media making a hype of one more issue. So far in case of swine flu about 1200 people have died through out the world out of 1,60,000 people affected (latest figures might be different). All over, the fear is legitimate; the response is exaggerated.
What is conveniently forgotten is that India is no stranger to vicious outbreaks of these diseases. Four years ago, just one state - Uttar Pradesh - alone reported 1145 cases of Japanese encephalitis in a single month. A fourth of these patients died. But encephalitis, in a badly governed, poor state was not sensational enough for coverage. Not many of the patients had possibly ever travelled outside the village. Apart from its name, there was nothing remotely global about this outbreak (facts borrowed).
But swine flu with double digit deaths (this number might rise) in a month and a thousand-odd patients get disproportionate media and attention because it is imported, and affects the more affluent among us, people who go abroad and come in contact with others. In a country where globalisation means nothing to over 70% of the people, the noise over H1N1 is another example of the tyranny of the minority.
Comment by Buvana.
Good one! Poons. I happen to be in India at present and it is quite amusing to see the way people are reacting to this. But I must say that this is probably the first time the government is out with a policy at least in Tamil Nadu state. The diagnosis and management of swine flu is possible only in Govt hospitals which means that you can't do any of this privately in the posh hospitals which is good in a way. My mum was down with a bad bout of flu and as she is just back from UK/US we had to take her to Kings institute for a nasal swab to diagnose swine flu. There is a swine flu helpline which is actually manned and the Kings hospital staff were very efficient in conducting the test.There was no names dropping involved at all and we had to stand in the q for this.There is a large element of panic which is responsible for this media attention. One must not forget that India has seen a similar influenza epidemic in 1920s which claimed numerous lives, 1956 had another haemorrhagic influenza imported from Japan by ship. Health care for a billion people is no joke and this is the penalty we pay for globalisation. Having worked in govt hospitals I must say that I have come across numerous dedicated health professionals who try to do so much with such limited resources.Globalisation is touching every corner of India in a big way slowly but surely.
People are the same everywhere and panic is also global. I have had numerous mums come in to the hospital in UK with irrational fears of their children having swine flu. UK has a policy of treating suspected cases with Tamiflu without actually swabbing and we have missed out other illnesses because these children have been home having been treated over the phone with Tamiflu prescriptions.
The Western world largely influences medical research. 26,000 people die in India of Rabies aginst 1000 with HIV. Money is pumped into HIV ignoring Rabies which means nothing to the western world.TB is another example and the list goes on..... I would say that noise over H1N1 is an example of the tyranny of the developed world over the developing one.
Comment by mystique.
Ahem! I am feeling all left out of the flu you know... what with all the media coverage..remember the Elephant drinking milk episode? I just want to be a part of it....
Comment by Yet another writing desi.
Reena & DBu - thanks for the facts and adding some real meat. As I have tried to explain before - I stray so far from any sort of serious, factual reporting. This is simply me being an abominable smart ass...or at least aiming to be so.
Comment by Yet another writing desi.
mystique: Actually not sure which story you are referring to, so do enlighten me! And would also love to know who you are ;)
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