The King Khan't have been fingered!

Monday, August 17, 2009 by Yet another writing desi , under

My ongoing "public service" to desi news-deprived desis & desiphiles everywhere...

Finally an event to provoke the sleeping, apathetic giant that is Democratic India! Even the self-involved Bollywood elite was angered enough to tweet and such because social injustic like this is simply egregious. Unlike their Hollywood counterparts who balance consumeristic excesses by adopting African babies, Bollywood celebrities tend to channel their energies into pimping shampoos, cars, soft drinks etc. until of course the fateful day of...August 14, 2009!

What stirred their passions you ask (or you don't) - could it be that gender genocide is rampant even today in affluent, urban societies of India OR is it the issues that restrict economic and social progress to only select Indian cities OR may be even the growing concern of pesticides and chemicals in our food as corporate India goes the way of obnoxious Chinese manufacturers (melamine in baby formula anyone?)...

Wrong! Shah Rukh Khan was questioned and an airline lost his luggage, which apparently made them question him even more. Ah the audacity...for never before has a Muslim man been questioned, an Indian been bothered at US Immigration, or luggage been lost by an airline!

A few other highlights in terms of the brilliant reactions this spawned:

  • Furthering the theory "have mouth, will blab" the federal information minister, Ambika Soni, astutely recommended that India adopt a similar policy toward Americans travelling to India. This is just the shot in the arm that Indian tourism and the economy needs. Yes we can be as pig-headed as other insular, myopic nations...now that's a race we can win.

  • Actress Priyanka Chopra tweeted with her well-manicured fingers "Shocking, disturbing n downright disgraceful. It's such behaviour that fuels hatred and racism. SRK's a world figure for God's sake. Get real!" - a situation apparently too dire for perspective. When a 5th of Americans cant locate the US on a world map, it is of course fair to expect that the immigration officer, who is likely not an auror, will recognize and fawn over SRK.

  • Allahabad joined the force by burning the US flag since this has worked so well for the Middle East, Iraq, Iran, and a host of floundering African nations. Ah to be a pyromaniac or just any man with a matchstick in this city...

  • And in an incredibly reassuring and familiar move the U.S. ambassador, Timothy J. Roemer, on Saturday said the U.S. Embassy was trying to "ascertain the facts of the case - to understand what took place." Now doesnt that seem like one of our bureaucrats...awwww...we are all the same :) An unnamed source though confirmed that Mr. Roemer could not understand that there was any actor in India more important than Dev Patel and was caught offguard by this angst-ridden furore.


    Thanks for reading this week's edition of Utter Desiness. So much to write, so little time!

4 Responses to 'The King Khan't have been fingered!'

August 17, 2009 at 6:37 PM

Comment by mystique.

Snarky take on it! SCrumptious!

August 17, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Comment by Unknown.

Good collection of stories for ignorant desis like us! "Ah to be a pyromaniac or just any man with a matchstick in this city...": very well said there. Now how do you characterize this kind of insanity though? Can any logic be possibly applied to understand this kind of utter desiness? What do you think?

August 17, 2009 at 10:37 PM

Comment by Yet another writing desi.

Ki - those are rather deep questions for someone like me who has barely scratched the surface of a nursery rhyme. I never meant to truly inform, mobilize or resolve anything with anything I write. If any of that happens that would be a totally unintended & supremely lucky side effect. There are far too many desis that get hot and heavy on the socio-political front. I simply aim to be a smart ass and have had over three decades of practice....Certainly appreciate you acknowledging the play of words though :)

August 18, 2009 at 4:28 AM

Comment by Unknown.

:) And I never meant to truly resolve anything either. Just was wondering if may be you had an insight into it as a side effect of three decades of practice :)

Looking forward to the next post!

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